Sometime last week while studying for one of my papers, I felt so spiritually drained and I just wanted to give up studying. I had 0% motivation to continue reading my notes and I was feeling very angry over some personal issues. Then I just decided to stop everything I was doing and turn to God's word. I didn't have my Bible beside me so I just read Captivating, so I hope that kinda counts? Haha! Ok continue, the part I turned to (or where my bookmark just happened to be at) was the part about being Romanced. It talked about how God created us so He can romance us girls. If you notice, the Bible talks about how the church is the bride and God is the bridegroom and similarly, it's like how we are the bride and God is the bridegroom. He wants us to be ready and be loved by Him!

"What we need is for him to open our eyes, to open our ears that we might recognize his voice calling us, see his hand wooing us in the beauty that quickens our hearts."

Some things happened last week which opened up old wounds and it was extremely frustrating and I was just venting to my friend. He gave me some really sound advice but also shared how he doesn't know whether it's good that he's sharing those advice because it meant that he had been in that situation. And as I read Captivating that night, it said how "he often brings those things back into our lives, to remind us he was there, to heal and restore things that were lost or stolen".

The book mentions how there is also in God's heart a place that you alone can fill and that God wants to live this life together with you, to share in your days and decisions, your desires and disappointments. He wants your deep heart, that center place within that is the truest you.

There are so many good quotes I wish I could quote but it really struck me to know how I matter so much to Christ, how in His huge HUGE heart though I may be a small speck, I still matter. And that night as I talked to God, I really felt the comfort in my heart telling me that I don't have to be afraid because someone will always love me no matter what and will be by my side all the time, and that is Jesus. I thought about how awesome it would be in heaven once I get there and there will not be anymore tears or suffering but joy because we're all in the presence of our dear Father! Well hopefully we are all looking forward to going there :-)

Comiss is over! Ms Illydea's 80%:20: focus was truly one that did not fail. Spent the past week studying hard for it, it's exhausting because I know I'm not a study-hardcore kind of person, I detest exams and memorising stuff is my greatest nightmare. We used to memorise textbooks for O's but studying for just 1/2 papers now makes me want to vomit blood. If only we could burn notes and drink it and it will just be in us...

Wednesday was, I don't know whether to say good or bad. So basically I went to study with Boon and I wanted to eat the duck rice opposite Nex at some coffeeshop and the stall was closed of all days.. I was upset but it's alright, still can 忍. Studying at the library really forces you to shush up and stay focused so I guess that's why I like studying at the library at times. Studying at home may not be very conducive because you'll be surfing the net and scavenging around the kitchen for snacks, true story. Then the study-zone decided to close that section at 2.30 for storytelling and I was like: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? First the duck rice shop was closed then once I'm studying so attentively in the library, the zone decides to close. So we decided to go back to our second home SMU pasta hahaha!

It's kinda like love-hate relationship with SMU pasta, sometimes I like eating it sometimes I just want to back off the overload of pasta. Then yesterday I went to study at SMU with XJ, oh my goodness, can someone please recommend me a new place to study?? I might as well just rent a hostel in SMU...

Well, left with only 1 more PR paper and then bye bye sem 2.2 and hello to the holidays! Okay time to go watch my tv show bye bye I love comiss I love Pentatonix I love you kidding bye bye~

If you're gonna be in MCM and you get to Y2, please mentally prepare yourself. This is not a joke. Last week was the worst week of the entire Y2 I'm in thus far. Well to be exact, last Friday. So much tears and frustrations, everyone fretting over submission deadlines and all the anger raging.. Didn't manage to hand up 2 projects on time and I bawled my eyes out that Friday because everything that could go wrong did went wrong. BUT I'm thankful that I encountered that crazy frantic day because it's a memory I'll hold on to 10 years down the road! Anyway, we submitted everything yesterday. Thank God projects are over for the sem! 

Special shoutout to Akif who really got my back that Friday and over the weekend while we completed our PR project too. Thanks for listening to my rants and frustrations and making me laugh so much! I am truly blessed to have known you and worked with you this sem! Amazed how we have chemistry and the same mindset in terms of working etc. You have really been a daily dosage of laughter for me, always infecting all of us with your crazy antics and entertaining us with your creepy flexibility and sloth face. Thanks for everything fellow sub-editor! 

your pout and tongue-sticking-out must maintain

no more science centre for us ever again | PR Planning Project

Had CIP 2 Saturdays ago, it's for our Cambodia trip. I really dreaded it initially because it was National Day and I just wanted to stay home with my family.. But really thankful to have gone for it in the end, it was fun giving back to the community and being a part of all those aunties and uncles HAHAHA! Plus, doing work with your friends is always fun! About 3 weeks left to the trip! Did some fundraising for the trip too, the money will be used to buy uniforms and shoes for the children there and we received loads of donations, both monetary and physical ones like clothes and stationery! It's gonna be an exciting trip :-) 

i honestly can't stand his long hair, makes me cringe

Had my radio interview test last Thursday and I'm so thankful for Elliott Danker! He gave me so many tips on how to keep my cool and also on projection and interaction for the interview. It was really fun interviewing him and I'm pretty sure he had also had fun coming to my school to be a part of this interview and meeting his ex-colleagues AKA my lecturers... I must say, I may consider radio as an elective in the final year because I've been enjoying it so far surprisingly! :-)

I got the opportunity to watch Pentatonix at the very last minute last Tuesday and I have no regrets at all going for the concert! Even though it was only for a short slightly over an hour, they were simply amazing and if they ever come to Singapore again, I'm gonna buy the seats closer to them. Scott was looking so fine and he's gorgeous, period. iPhone4 camera sucks and I couldn't get many pretty photos and my camera got confiscated so UGH.... but yes I've been addicted to them ever since then, like I must listen to them at least once a day.. Hehehe Scott :-) And oh my goodness Mitch's dancing, he has the sassiest dance ever and his raps are wow... Ok I have to stop fangirling hah! 

Jasmine and the twins came over on Lisa's birthday at midnight to surprise her and it was a SUCCESS! I've got the whole video of her waking up with them in the room surprising her and it was just an epic night! Obviously they stayed over, but really sad I couldn't stay up with them because I was busy doing work and I was the first to fall asleep because I was simply exhausted.. But thanks for making this surprise a successful one and giving Lisa a memorable 14th birthday! Happy birthday Lisa, you can be irritating and whiny and just annoying but you're my sister after all and you can be quite amusing at times too. Don't become a CAL please :-)

Not going to deny, thoughts of wanting to look better have ran through my mind before. I guess it's just a girl-thing and it's part of growing up. BUT I'm proud of how I look. Sadly many others don't feel that way. They feel that the smallest pimple or scratch mark on their face make the biggest flaw and constantly powder their faces to cover up. There's nothing wrong with wanting to look pretty, but I came across this song recently and the lyrics really speak so much and I just wanna share it!

Try by Colbie Caillat. She actually shared how she's tired of being photoshopped and this message of not having to keep trying to look pretty for others is really encouraging. Look in the mirror, do you like you? Because I like you.

Put your make up on, get your nails done, curl your hair 

Run the extra mile, keep it slim so they like you, 

Do they like you?

Get your sexy on, don't be shy girl, take it off

This is what you want, to belong, so they like you

Do you like you?

You don't have to try so hard

You don't have to give it all away

You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up

You don't have to change a single thing

You don't have to try, try, try, try 

You don't have to try

Get your shopping on, at the mall, max your credit cards

You don't have to choose, buy it all, so they like you

Do they like you?

Wait a second, why should you care, what they think of you

When you're all alone, by yourself, do you like you?

Do you like you?

Take your make up off, let your hair down

Take a breath, look into the mirror at yourself

Don't you like you?

Cause I like you. 

I'm sorry if my posts aren't that interesting hahaha.... I was just wondering to myself, it's not like my blog is super fanciful and all or I can write like some poet and give cliche quotes blah blah, but this blog will be very precious to me 10 years down the road and it will be something I'll hold on to for long. I'll definitely try my best to keep writing here because this is like my open diary you know, haha! :)

Headed to Wheelers' Yard last Saturday before youth with the twins and it's such a magical place! Hidden amongst industrial buildings, this surprisingly huge cafe goes along with the theme of 'modern bicycles' and it's really pretty! The food is alright, expensive though, wallet broke already :( $20 for one plate of big breakfast leh! But it's a really huge plate lah, I think we spent like $60+ in total HAHAHA, it's really filling though and not like we go cafes all the time so it's okay for a monthly cafe meal :-)

that cute brotherly love hehehe

my new cafe budssss

Thank God MBM is almost over, just left with presentation. Ew MBM. Kinda sad that Feature is coming to an end though, Mr Ramani has so much words of wisdom + all his life lessons = going for lectures and tutorials were all worth it. Headed for some SMU pasta for dinner with Hipsters W00H00! So glad we had that short few hours together to catch up.

Reverie also had our editorial photoshoot yesterday. Reverie is my feature group and I'm grateful to have them as my team! Our magazine theme is 'chill', so I guess that explains the pjs and soft toys haha! Our own concept of chill ;) Side note, magazine project is due next Friday! Only another week + more till we wrap this up! Excited for the outcome! :-)

thanks for feature guys! reverie profile shots we're so adorable~~

because we can never focus during classes and i'm pretty sure tutors don't like our group hahaha 

thanks for so much laughter every single day friends! dominos pizza tomorrow yay :-)

Photos that I think are alright in the second batch are below. My second batch turned out underexposed and really grainy, it was just heartaching to know how the quality is so horrible this time round :( Oh well, looking forward to the next one where I'll be developing photos from church camp and some other random stuff HAHAHA! 

 love the background!

 monkey see monkey do

 love this shot i like how the worker is contrasted with the huge plot of land

 i made him pose there HAHAHA

 some tourists lol

 tourists vogue

cosmo-politan hah hah hah

So there you go, grainy pictures and horrible lighting. But some of the pictures are really cute so yup, you can say I'm partially satisfied also lah haha! :-)